#Reacting verses responding

What is the difference between reacting and responding ? Well simply put reacting is uncontrolled and responding is controlled. When one is responding they are in control of their actions words and emotions. They think before they do. They are conscious of what is going on around them. Not only what is going on but why it is going on. They see the bigger picture, they know there is always something bigger going on and even when caught off guard they still try to respond in a compassionate and responsible manner, whether comfortable or not.

Reacting is done out of habit, it is acting in a way that is automatic to them. A behavior that is learned along the way. Reacting is doing without thinking and it is usually why many of us feel hurt or guilty in the aftermath of a heated argument or conversation or if some one has done something to hurt or defy us. Reacting is unconscious actions. It is automatic and a challenging habit to break. But a habit worth breaking !

If you can see from the perspective that the universe is always giving us opportunities to try and improve ourselves and learn to come from the position of compassion and unconditional love, that you will see only opportunity when confronted with a frustrating experience. You can then begin to train yourself to consciously decide to try and respond in a more loving compassionate manner. As you begin to practice responding rather than reacting and get better at it, you may find every so often an extremely challenging and frustrating situation will come up and it will be your choice to hold onto conscious responding or revert to unconscious reacting.

Unconscious reacting usually involves things such as yelling, screaming, crying, name calling, swearing, hitting, over powering, belittling, breaking things, insulting, finger pointing or completely withdrawing from the interaction. None of these create a peaceful loving environment and almost always leaves one or more feeling hurt in some way.

Everybody seeks validation and understanding and when it is given and received in situations, situations seem to become softer and this takes conscious effort a lot of the time. Reacting is the old way of doing things. Responding is the new way and it is done from a place of love and understanding, it teaches others and it feels really good knowing you tried to respond consciously to the best of your ability.

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*How to transmute your experiences.

In order to transmute your experiences, you must first accept them all as learning experiences, and find the lesson in which it was trying to show you. Then we must let it become a healthy part of who we are. We experience, integrate and then transmute the experience, with who we are.

When what feels like a negative experience presents itself to you, it can feel like poison, the fears, heavy emotions, memories, and physical symptoms, what it can conjure up or trigger may seem like poison to our body and can reek havoc on our mind, body and even spirit.

When we can see why and what the experience is trying to show us, if we are conscious of what it is that's really going on, or know that all things happen for a reason, if we can take what needs to be learned out of a situation, it becomes neutralizes and we can then begin to transmute the negative aspects into a learning experience quickly and this allows what was learned to become part of who we are.

For example if you have struggled throughout your life, just to make ends meet, then you learned how to adapt. You always found a way. You are here and you reading this, so now you have to own the skill of always making ends meet. Some may become bitter over time and even resent those who seem to be well off financially. They have not transmuted their experiences with money, lacking, jealousy, what ever it is that is hurting them deep down, in a healthy way. They are resentful that others are thriving instead of finding appreciation in the fact they have always had their needs met. When you can appreciate your experience, you have transmuted the negative feelings and energy around the experience and taken what is good or what could be learned or gained from the experience.

Those who struggle in life and still live their life with joy and embrace what is good, sharing their experiences about hardship with others who are struggling in the present, those who have been humbled by their lack of money...... now offering what they can to help others,... they have transmuted their experience in a healthy way.

It has become a HEALTHY aspect of they the are. They are not burdened with negative thoughts or emotions from past experiences. Not only are they free of any resentment, they now use their past experience to help others who are currently struggling with the same issues.

This is transmuting your experience !

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