#Reacting verses responding

What is the difference between reacting and responding ? Well simply put reacting is uncontrolled and responding is controlled. When one is responding they are in control of their actions words and emotions. They think before they do. They are conscious of what is going on around them. Not only what is going on but why it is going on. They see the bigger picture, they know there is always something bigger going on and even when caught off guard they still try to respond in a compassionate and responsible manner, whether comfortable or not.

Reacting is done out of habit, it is acting in a way that is automatic to them. A behavior that is learned along the way. Reacting is doing without thinking and it is usually why many of us feel hurt or guilty in the aftermath of a heated argument or conversation or if some one has done something to hurt or defy us. Reacting is unconscious actions. It is automatic and a challenging habit to break. But a habit worth breaking !

If you can see from the perspective that the universe is always giving us opportunities to try and improve ourselves and learn to come from the position of compassion and unconditional love, that you will see only opportunity when confronted with a frustrating experience. You can then begin to train yourself to consciously decide to try and respond in a more loving compassionate manner. As you begin to practice responding rather than reacting and get better at it, you may find every so often an extremely challenging and frustrating situation will come up and it will be your choice to hold onto conscious responding or revert to unconscious reacting.

Unconscious reacting usually involves things such as yelling, screaming, crying, name calling, swearing, hitting, over powering, belittling, breaking things, insulting, finger pointing or completely withdrawing from the interaction. None of these create a peaceful loving environment and almost always leaves one or more feeling hurt in some way.

Everybody seeks validation and understanding and when it is given and received in situations, situations seem to become softer and this takes conscious effort a lot of the time. Reacting is the old way of doing things. Responding is the new way and it is done from a place of love and understanding, it teaches others and it feels really good knowing you tried to respond consciously to the best of your ability.

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Engaging, Reacting, Defending, could be an issue with YOUR ego.

When you feel the need to engage, react, defend, or anything alike, you can bet that your ego has crept out of the bag. When you are comfortable being who you are, and your intentions are pure, and you have no desire to hurt or cause another, pain, grief, or heart ache, there is never a reason to give any type of explanation the those who are questioning, or trying to create drama or conflict with you.

When you catch yourself reacting in a way that lowers your vibration, such as defending  yourself to another, who does not understand you and therefor may argue or even become angry with you, when you engage in this struggle to get them to see your point or have them believe what you want them to ..this is your ego saying to you.... '' you need them to understand you '', '' how dare they not think you are right '', or even, '' you are not worthy of them understanding you ''. Your ego will want to try and convince everyone, you are right and you will feel less worthy if they do not. It leaves you feeling different and misunderstood.

But this is far from the truth, you must stop giving your energy by trying to convince anyone of anything, for they will only hear you if they are ready to hear and understand what it is you are saying. When you engage with another by repeatedly trying to convince them you are right, you take your energy and place it where it is not useful, you are telling yourself you must not be as right as you though, if they do not see it your way.

It does not matter if anyone sees anything the way you do, because nobody is living your reality and we are all on different levels and vibrating on our own unique frequencies. You need no one to see it as you do. You are enough. It can feel hard when you see something that no one else sees, and not want them to see it as well, especially if it will benefit them in some way, but you must remember it is not your job to have anyone see anything...It is your job to keep being you, and others will either agree or disagree. Either way it is irrelevant.

Do not judge your self worth, thoughts or beliefs, depending on who believes or approves of you. When you are triggered and react to someone, step back and remember it is not your responsibility to get them to understand or agree with you, THEN, remind your ego that you are good enough without trying to convince anyone of anything.

Just BE you !

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