Monday, June 13, 2011

People will treat you exactly, how you allow them to.

 When you find yourself in a situation where you are feeling uncomfortable about the way some one is treating you, whether it be through their behaviour, with words, a lack of respect, taking advantage of you, or anything else that may create a lower vibration within you, you must choose how you are going to respond.

There are many ways you could respond, thus being ignoring or disengaging from the person, react or retaliate towards the person, laugh it off as if it does not bother while building resentment toward the person, or maybe we could learn to set proper, boundaries as to how others will treat us. Here is a simple way to self check your boundaries and your reactions when you find yourself in a situation where someone may be treating you in a way that bothers you or is down right wrong.

First you must decide if the way someone is treating you is the way you would like to be treated and if it is not that state your case calmly, clearly and kindly to that person. If they are receptive to what you're saying then you may come to a level where you can respect one another's boundaries, but if these boundaries are overstepped too often, than you may find that disengaging from that person is necessary in order for you to keep the boundaries you have in check, with how others treat you.

If you allow others to treat, of speak to you unkindly, then you can only expect that they will. There are alot of people out there walking around carrying alot of pain just waiting to unload it or take it out on the next person who is available to take it. There is a difference between unloading your problems and taking your problems out on another, and choosing to set boundaries on how much unloading you can handle from another, whether it be expressed through their anger, sadness, resentment, complaining, sarcasm, taking advantage of, or even lack of appreciation, towards you, you have to choose how you want to be treated and set your relationships up accordingly.

Giving and receiving is a mutually agreed upon level of respect and set of boundaries between two people. Give firm reminders,when boundaries are over stepped, yet always keeping the integrity, of  YOUR behaviour in check..

People will always treat you the way you allow them to, and they do not like to have to change their behaviour on account that it is not easy to make changes to the personality. So it may be, as you set up boundaries as to how you want to be treated, that people who are in your life now, may not all be there when you speak up for yourself as to where your boundaries lie. Be compassionate to those who cross you, they are usually suffering, somewhere in their own lives. Just do not compromise your boundaries, as to how you allow them to treat you.

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2 comments:

  1. Boy your stuff is always right on and exactly what I need to hear. Thank you. I say thank you every time I read one of your pieces, but this time I'm writing it down THANK YOU.

    Jane

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