Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Setting boundaries.

Boundaries are something you put into place, that are your standards on how others will treat you. There are many kinds of boundaries and to find a strong balance across the board can take time and practice. The more spiritual you become it can be easy to swing from one end of the spectrum right to the other very quickly. Most of us either lean towards being a door mat for others, or are too strong with expressing our opinion or being overly defensive.

When we begin to heal and open our hearts, you may find that the ways people treated you in the past are very annoying to you and may have little patience for inappropriate behavior or comments, on the other hand you may catch yourself being defensive and become conscious to the fact that this kind of behavior does not serve you any longer.

There s a balance in how others treat you and how you react. Putting boundaries in place states that you know you deserve to be treated with respect and that you do not have to go out of your way to please others, or seek their approval. Boundaries let other people know you have self worth and expect to be treated as such. When you find someone stepping over your boundaries, with all the love in your heart, speak your truth to them. Tell them the way they are treating you is inappropriate and that you do not appreciate it, and will not tolerate it.

This may cause some confusion when others hear you respond like that, but that is okay because they probably have not had many people speak their truth in a firm yet loving way before. Some people will not know how to react and find you weird, but really, who cares ? This is about you setting your boundaries as to how you would like to be treated, not about supporting someone else inappropriate behavior. There is no need to be rude to others when stating where your boundaries lie, but sometimes you may have to really get a back bone, especially when putting boundaries in place with people who are use to treating you in ways that you no longer find appropriate.

People can find change hard to deal with. Especially when it comes to the personality. So do not be surprised if you receive some resistance to the boundaries you decide to put in place. Do not despair and hold your boundaries no matter how others react. It is not your responsibility to keep anyone happy, but yourself and if your boundaries are within a healthy range it is not possible to hurt anyone by speaking the truth on how you would like to be treated.

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